You may have seen me smiling from ear to ear. You may have heard me say something uplifting and kind. I might have made you laugh on a few occasions. But recently, I've been sad.
I've had people I truly love and care about hurt my feelings, whether intentional or unintentional. I have also said some not-so-kind things myself.
I feel like I'm an onion right now, peeling back all the layers to get to the core, the center of it all. I believe this season is the one where I get closer to God and closer to myself.
Today I bawled my eyes out. I mean, I cried from within. It felt like the tears were never going to end. Then they did. I felt so refreshed. I felt like I watered the garden. I let go of what was hurting me. I faced it. I said it aloud. I named it. That ugly cry was so freeing.
Maybe I've been lost and wandering. Perhaps it's time to find myself. What I do know is that this transformation is one of the most uncomfortable ones I've had in a while.
I've had to express my truth and deal with the aftermath of it all. If you ask me how I feel, I'm probably going to say I'm well or I'm good. But honestly, I'm sad as hell.
Life is interesting. It shows you whom to give to and how much you should give. It's up to you what you do with that information. The ride might feel lonely right now. It might feel like you don't have anyone to talk to. You do. You have God. I'm taking this time of pain and anguish and leaning more into Him. Strengthening my relationship with Him. Allowing Him to guide me through the storm. Allowing Him to get me to the other side safely and unharmed.
I'm going to be okay. But today.. I'm sad
2 comments
You’re so kind for sharing. Since the day I met you you’ve been supportive and kind and I really needed that. It’s ok to cry 💗 you’re doing amazing things and it’s just the start.
i love you friend! them ugly cries will get you right. let it all out, you have to go through it to get through it. and you will have better days. tomorrow is a new one❤️